She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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