SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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