The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
