Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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