I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
