She said her name was "party"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
