please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
