Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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