I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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