like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need a burrito and a hug.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
