If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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