**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
