She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
