I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
