office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
