Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
