their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
