I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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