If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize