Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
