Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize