She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
