Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize