so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We were destined to go to rehab together
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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