I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Who died my cat blue again?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
