I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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