I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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