Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
