hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
