Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
