can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just blew my weed a kiss
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
