everyone is single if you try hard enough
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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