he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
