Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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