I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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