I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
