butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize