he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
