I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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