I hope mine doesn't look like that
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
