In the future we'll all be gay
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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