They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
