"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
