We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
