hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
