Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
