saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
