She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love you.
Bad choice
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
