His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
