I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
