Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
