All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
