yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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