My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
