Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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