We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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