My friends, they love my intelligence
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
