he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize