My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
