and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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