He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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