i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
