eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Less talking, more tequila
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
