? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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