Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
