Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize