his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He did a backflip because drugs
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