I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
