singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
