I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
