I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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