He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
