So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
