Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
