i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
