Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
