Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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